crossaffliction's stories

Review: ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’ Royal Pony Wedding DVD (with bonus kitty)
Sat 18 Aug 2012 - 17:24

“Educated horses. Don’t you want to ride it?”My Little Pony: Royal Pony Wedding
- Rob Zombie, “Foxy Foxy”

During a fairly routine to a local Wal-Mart, I stopped by the “Entertainment” section because, due to geographic isolation, Wal-Mart is the only source for new books and movies I have. You see what I have to work with here?

Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised to find a copy of Mr. Zombie’s latest remix album, Mondo Sex Head in the new CDs display and a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic “Royal Pony Wedding” DVD in the television section. As these two unlikely cart-mates made their way to the checkout lane, I wondered what in my personal history could have led to this moment. I cannot remember any specific inciting incident, and do not have the scars necessary for amnesia due to massive head trauma, so I must have repressed it.

But perhaps there is some weird connection; after all, Mondo Sex Head features a kitten on the album cover, I have trouble remembering if “Black Sunshine” is a White Zombie song or a background pony, and that Queen Chrysalis is fairly scary, considering. Mondo Sex Head is good in its way, and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is good in its own. However, despite song titles such as “Foxy Foxy” and “Superbeast”, and lyrics like “tender is the fur,” only one is furry enough to be reviewed on Flayrah.

5 comment(s) – read more

July 2012 Newsbytes archive
Mon 6 Aug 2012 - 00:28

This month’s contributors include dronon, earthfurst, Fred, GreenReaper, Higgs Raccoon, RingtailedFox, and TwilightShadow.

Furry Movie Award Watch: July
Sat 21 Jul 2012 - 21:05

This month, nothing new is going on in the circuit, so I have devised a thought experiment to try and guess what movies might have been nominated and won Best Animated Feature if it had always existed as an Oscar category.

11 comment(s) – read more

Review: ‘Ted’ was bearable, if you are into that sort of thing
Mon 2 Jul 2012 - 22:27

TedTed is the first movie directed by Seth MacFarlane, most known for his role in creating the hit animated sitcom, Family Guy. I am not a fan.

The sad fact is that a lot of people are in fact fans, and yes, I believe that that is a sad fact. To be clear, I am not down on gross-out humor, and can enjoy it as well as anyone else. Heck, I have done standup comedy, and such gags were a standard part of my sets. Gross-out humor is not my problem with this movie.

The problem is it is pretty much exactly what I expected. It is probably exactly what you expected, too. So, if you expect to like this movie, go on and get your ticket. If not, you can pretend to be a snob with me and the other cool kids, okay?

20 comment(s) – read more

Review: ‘Brave’ illustrates my problem with Pixar
Mon 2 Jul 2012 - 02:33

BravePixar’s newest movie, Brave, is about a princess who turns her mother into a bear. I have a problem with Pixar, and in reviewing Brave, I would like to get up on a soapbox for a bit and explain that problem.

Many people really like Pixar movies, and think they are the best thing to happen to animation since Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, but I still have my problem.

That said, Brave deserves to be judged on its merits as a movie first, an animated movie second, and as a Pixar movie last of all.

26 comment(s) – read more

June 2012 Newsbytes archive
Sun 1 Jul 2012 - 23:41

This month’s contributors include Rakuen Growlithe, RingtailedFox, crossaffliction, Kakurady, dronon, GreenReaper, Higgs Raccoon, Equivamp, Fred and Sonious.

Furry Movie Award Watch: June
Fri 29 Jun 2012 - 00:16

Alright, my first time at bat as an Ursa Major movie pundit worked out, as Kung Fu Panda 2's win put me at three for three predicting the movie awards I set out to predict. Read on for my reaction to the awards and my first guess at next year’s nominees and winner.

5 comment(s) – read more

Coroner confirms it; dingoes ate the baby
Tue 12 Jun 2012 - 18:43

ChamberlainsAfter thirty years, it turns out, yes, dingoes really did eat that baby. At least that was the finding of Australian coroner Elizabeth Morris today, as quoted by the New York Times: "The cause of her death was a result of being taken by a dingo."

The bizarre disappearance from Ayer’s Rock of infant Azaria Chamberlain in 1980 led to her mother, Lindy, being convicted of murder in 1982, despite Lindy’s claims that dingoes had killed the baby. When Azaria’s jacket was found four years later near dingo dens, however, Lindy was released. Finally, this year, a fourth inquest was taken.

2 comment(s) – read more

Review: ‘Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted’ is Furry Jesus
Tue 12 Jun 2012 - 00:13

Madagascar 3 I was in a bad mood all day when I went to see this movie. A real bad mood.

I was looking forward to seeing it, however, because I decided it would cheer me up. I wasn't expecting it to be great and cheer me up; I expected it to be bad, and then I would get to take out all my frustrations on it in my review.

Essentially, if this movie was not the second coming of Furry Jesus, I was going to rip it a new orifice which I would then proceed to assuage my rage.

Can I even write that?

Anyway, you read the headline; this movie cheered me right up in the way I did not expect it to. By not sucking. Also, by not only not sucking, but by really not sucking a lot.

35 comment(s) – read more

May 2012 Newsbytes archive
Sun 3 Jun 2012 - 13:51

This month’s contributors include Sonious, Higgs Raccoon, crossaffliction, RingtailedFox, GreenReaper, dronon, earthfurst and Fred.

3 comment(s) – read more