Republican state lawmaker in Oklahoma calls for neutering children who are "furry" in defense of his proposed law

Legislator Justin Humphrey of the Oklahoma State House of Representatives submitted a proposed bill (OK Bill 3084) which would indicate that a student identified as a furry would be removed from the classroom by their parents, or failing that, animal control.

Students who purport to be an imaginary animal or animal species, or who engage in anthropomorphic behavior commonly referred to as furries at school shall not be allowed to participate in school curriculum or activities. The parent or guardian of a student in violation of this section shall pick the student up from the school, or animal control services shall be contacted to remove the student.

This is another political act based on a rumor that started two years ago about cat litter being utilized by students 'pretending to be cats'. This is the second proposed law in Oklahoma to try and remove furry students from the classroom that also had the misuse of the terminology of “anthropomorphic behavior”. It is also the second year in a row that such a law has been proposed.

Double down and escalation

In a self recorded video, the representative doubled down on the legislation he penned. But even going a step further and called for the neutering of children who consider themselves ‘furry’.

People are going to call me insane for running this bill. Hell, I’d say they’re insane.

If you got an animal coming to school, how ‘bout we get them vaccinated? How ‘bout we get them neutered? And how ‘bout we send them to the pound?

I don’t wanna see some kid going to the bathroom inna litter box, inna kitty litter.

Those people up ‘dere lost their mind lettin’ these people pretend to be animals in the classroom. If they’re gonna be animals let’s send ‘em pound [sic], let’s send ‘em home.

How do you teach a cat math?
-Representative Humphrey defending the bill

Nobody should inform the Representative that human children are already vaccinated to attend public school in his state.

Just a joke, bro

Despite the initial doubling down rant, as news started to spread, one local news anchor indicated that the Representative did back pedal on his proposed law.

Okla. Rep. Justin Humphrey is already backpedaling on language in 2 of his bills filed yesterday. One bars students pretending to be animals ("furries") from schools & requires them to be picked up by a parent or "animal control." He said the animal control part was sarcasm.
Erin Christy, News 2 anchor (Tulsa)

It seems that the state of Oklahoma isn’t informing its lawmakers that legislation is not an appropriate venue for sarcasm. That’s more for an internet forum or comment section. To input joking into the law is to render the law itself a joke and it diminishes the office and institutions meant to enforce them.

This would especially true of sarcastic laws concerning the classroom, because we’ve heard that is unwanted there by pink bards of old named Floyd.

In the end though, this phenomenon of backpedaling from a position taken by claiming that it’s humor is a well documented defense mechanism of political operatives and biased (or it’s misspelling of ‘based’) individuals. It’s called being a Schrodinger’s Douchebag, the concept being inspired on the quantum physics theory on a hidden variable being seen as both true and untrue until evidence reveals it to be defined as one or the other.

Where in most cases a person making dark humor quips on the street could be successful in their obfuscation on their true intentions, the forum under which the alleged joke was made should be useful in understanding whether the person in question is or is not a douchebag. Given the alleged joke was made as a part of legislation, I think most would see that as a positive. The cat is dead.

Too bad no one got around to teaching it math.