First of all, I owe you an apology, and fully accept the fact that it would be totally fair if you decided I'm not worth paying attention too.
But, as a criticism, well, I don't think the rat story was a good idea. The article as is is, well, a bit rambling and unstructured to begin with, so I think instead of just clearly re-stating your thesis, ending on an odd metaphor wasn't the best idea. Also, and this may sound silly, but choosing a story where the animals are the bad guys on a furry site was actively confusing. I mean, know your audience; I was actively rooting for those rats to eat that barley myself. The good guys won, as far as I could tell, until the last two paragraphs came in like a twist ending.
My reaction to the article was basically "well, his heart's in the right place, but I don't think this is going to change many minds."
First of all, I owe you an apology, and fully accept the fact that it would be totally fair if you decided I'm not worth paying attention too.
But, as a criticism, well, I don't think the rat story was a good idea. The article as is is, well, a bit rambling and unstructured to begin with, so I think instead of just clearly re-stating your thesis, ending on an odd metaphor wasn't the best idea. Also, and this may sound silly, but choosing a story where the animals are the bad guys on a furry site was actively confusing. I mean, know your audience; I was actively rooting for those rats to eat that barley myself. The good guys won, as far as I could tell, until the last two paragraphs came in like a twist ending.
My reaction to the article was basically "well, his heart's in the right place, but I don't think this is going to change many minds."