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To anyone who feels I hurt them, I offer my sincere apology. It may mean little to anyone, but I cared deeply for the people I brought into my life, and attempted to act with good intentions towards them. I see now that the outcomes of some of my behaviors brought harm to people I loved and cherished, and that at times I acted selfishly, and I caused harm. I also caused embarrassment to the community that gave me an identity, and a voice, and a place to feel loved and accepted. Truly, I am mortified, and deeply, deeply sorry. It is with immense shame and regret that I am choosing to end my presence in the fandom, but that is the only right thing to do — I never meant to cause anyone harm, but that does not prevent harm from being done.

I will not get into the specifics of any allegations or even attempt to defend myself, for to do so would bring further harm and embarrassment to people who feel I hurt them, and frankly, I can't bring myself to do that. To anyone who feels there is something I could yet do to offer amends or heal pain, please get word to me, and I will do my best to make things right. If there is nothing, then I hope my shame and regret will suffice.

When I started Feral Attraction with Metriko and Koji, it was not because I thought I was an expert on relationships — far from it. I was a dumb kid who started off with no idea how to be gay and who had his first relationships in his early 20s and probably made every mistake you can make. I tried to do right by people, but clearly, often I failed, and again, I am sorry. I suffered immensely in my early relationships, and often felt like a victim too, of both my partners' hurtful actions and of my own ignorance. Through that ignorance, I created suffering, and this horrifies me, and haunts me.

I had hoped that people who listened to Feral Attraction might avoid some of my own mistakes, and avoid experiencing some of my pain, and avoid causing pain as I had. I was passionate about the podcast and truly tried to help everyone that I could. Out of respect for those who feel I hurt them, I will no longer do that, as I do not want to risk causing harm to anyone in the fandom ever again, even inadvertently. I will not set myself up as an authority figure or a paragon when I am as flawed a human being as any other.

I have tried to learn and grow from all of my mistakes, and I hope that I can make up for them by serving others in ways that are appropriate. I would appreciate respect for my own and my partners' privacy. Thank you.

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