Here's a little story about some informal events I have run. There was this chronic problem with people not paying their share of restaurant bills. (Kinda like hotel bills right?)
One event went very well, so I led a group to a nice place, a Korean BBQ. I was misled to think it was one of the ones that are one-price for all you can eat, but it wasn't. So the bill inflated on top of the usual prices. My fault for telling everyone to keep ordering. I would pay the extra.
There was one kid across from me with a reputation for mooching rides, so I'd asked if he had the money up front and he said he did. Surprise, his card wouldn't run and there was nothing in the account. OK, so I ate a couple hundred of extra cost AND his bill. That can only happen once so I remembered it.
Next event, same kid - he ignored everyone telling him the last train was coming, got his bill paid by someone else (not me), then tried mooching a ride. Everyone drifted away on purpose. Since I arranged the event I was the last one in the place to ask. He got no ride but 5 minutes of talk about how to be a grown up and how this earns a reputation, and a nudge towards the bus which might get him home overnight after 3 or 4 hours of transfers.
Still didn't learn. He came out with us again, and before anyone ordered, I told the server his bill was separate from everyone. He looked like he would cry and his friend volunteered to take it.
I don't think a lot of this happens because people are intentionally quiet about bad behavior or won't report if they see something actively wrong. They're just nice and not in charge. If you do have to talk about it, don't blame the group for being that way, speak directly to the one.
Thanks for a good comment Steve.
Here's a little story about some informal events I have run. There was this chronic problem with people not paying their share of restaurant bills. (Kinda like hotel bills right?)
One event went very well, so I led a group to a nice place, a Korean BBQ. I was misled to think it was one of the ones that are one-price for all you can eat, but it wasn't. So the bill inflated on top of the usual prices. My fault for telling everyone to keep ordering. I would pay the extra.
There was one kid across from me with a reputation for mooching rides, so I'd asked if he had the money up front and he said he did. Surprise, his card wouldn't run and there was nothing in the account. OK, so I ate a couple hundred of extra cost AND his bill. That can only happen once so I remembered it.
Next event, same kid - he ignored everyone telling him the last train was coming, got his bill paid by someone else (not me), then tried mooching a ride. Everyone drifted away on purpose. Since I arranged the event I was the last one in the place to ask. He got no ride but 5 minutes of talk about how to be a grown up and how this earns a reputation, and a nudge towards the bus which might get him home overnight after 3 or 4 hours of transfers.
Still didn't learn. He came out with us again, and before anyone ordered, I told the server his bill was separate from everyone. He looked like he would cry and his friend volunteered to take it.
I don't think a lot of this happens because people are intentionally quiet about bad behavior or won't report if they see something actively wrong. They're just nice and not in charge. If you do have to talk about it, don't blame the group for being that way, speak directly to the one.