I agree with the bits about less moralizing and having fun, but caring about it less? No, I disagree with that. (Edit: Definitely care less about people trying to make you feel bad about who you are; but don't care less about how you treat people in general.) I believe we need to care and show compassion towards others. If we're doing something that upsets someone else's tolerances, we don't have to give in to them - but we need to find balance points (note the plural). It's about showing and building respect, in both directions.
Ultimately the debate boils down to three basic issues: (1) Differing concepts of what the fandom means to its individual participants, (2) The age-old paradox of how does a tolerant person deal with the less tolerant, and (3) The difficulty of controlling what we want to see on the Internet.
Where does one draw the line? That's a trick question. It implies there's only one line - a definable point where we can say that behavior X must stop. Similarly, saying there should be no line, no limit, that we shouldn't care, becomes impractical - it's important to show that we can appreciate different people's comfort levels. Give people an advance warning about potential squickiness, and we gain respect.
Social encounters are best evaluated on a case-by-case basis. Are we hanging out in a public venue, a private one, or something between the two? Who am I with? What level of behavior can they tolerate? Do I care? -- Of course, if what the fandom means to someone is "I want to escape from having to worry about this sort of thing, and do what I want," then behavior becomes a problem. Similarly, if the place we're hanging out is virtual, i.e., on the Internet, we can't possibly control for the varying tolerance levels of complete strangers who could surf by at any given moment. No easy solutions to this, alas, except to give an advance indication of what sort of virtual space someone is about to enter, and even then, they might surf right by the signs without noticing them.
It can seem daunting sometimes to figure out where the current balance points are, especially if someone's not good at reading social cues, but actually it's not too hard with a little mental effort. The best example: Furry conventions! All sorts of people with varying interests and different levels of tolerance, all having a great time in the same place, respecting the less tolerant needs of the hotel, and we pull this off without fights breaking out! And if someone *does* cross one of the possible, meandering lines, security will have a quick word with them. :)
And we switch gears on our behavior all the time, and it's so automatic, we barely think about it. The way we behave on a bus is different than how we behave in a bedroom. We behave differently when our parents are around. We behave one way with one group of friends, and differently with another group of friends. When we're sitting in a food court vs. in a formal restaurant. When we're sitting in a classroom vs. standing in the hall outside the classroom. When we're in a hotel at a furry convention vs. walking down the street. Evaluating our behavior in the context of where we are at any given time, that's a constant element of life. There are times and places when it's better to express our inner selves than others. Part of the appeal of a fandom is to build more times and places for fans to express themselves more freely. But not all places within the fandom are the best places to express everything and anything, all the time.
Caring is important. The fandom's reputation grew from a combination of people failing to judge (or care about) the right time and place, plus the early days of the Web suddenly removing a lot of barriers before social (in)tolerance got better at dealing with it, plus trolls advertizing our most extreme members.
The more respect we show to others, the more respect we'll receive in return. I will shame anyone I think is acting in a stupid, self-absorbed manner, if the time and place for such behavior isn't appropriate. Furry fandom is at a point where the trolling isn't so bad anymore, other fandoms are cutting us a lot more slack, and expressing one's nerdiness has become an acceptable part of popular culture. It's like we've had a jerk-ass older brother constantly teasing us, but now that we're getting a bit older, he's easing off, seeing what kind of person we're going to grow into. Let's not waste the opportunity. :)
I agree with the bits about less moralizing and having fun, but caring about it less? No, I disagree with that. (Edit: Definitely care less about people trying to make you feel bad about who you are; but don't care less about how you treat people in general.) I believe we need to care and show compassion towards others. If we're doing something that upsets someone else's tolerances, we don't have to give in to them - but we need to find balance points (note the plural). It's about showing and building respect, in both directions.
Ultimately the debate boils down to three basic issues: (1) Differing concepts of what the fandom means to its individual participants, (2) The age-old paradox of how does a tolerant person deal with the less tolerant, and (3) The difficulty of controlling what we want to see on the Internet.
Where does one draw the line? That's a trick question. It implies there's only one line - a definable point where we can say that behavior X must stop. Similarly, saying there should be no line, no limit, that we shouldn't care, becomes impractical - it's important to show that we can appreciate different people's comfort levels. Give people an advance warning about potential squickiness, and we gain respect.
Social encounters are best evaluated on a case-by-case basis. Are we hanging out in a public venue, a private one, or something between the two? Who am I with? What level of behavior can they tolerate? Do I care? -- Of course, if what the fandom means to someone is "I want to escape from having to worry about this sort of thing, and do what I want," then behavior becomes a problem. Similarly, if the place we're hanging out is virtual, i.e., on the Internet, we can't possibly control for the varying tolerance levels of complete strangers who could surf by at any given moment. No easy solutions to this, alas, except to give an advance indication of what sort of virtual space someone is about to enter, and even then, they might surf right by the signs without noticing them.
It can seem daunting sometimes to figure out where the current balance points are, especially if someone's not good at reading social cues, but actually it's not too hard with a little mental effort. The best example: Furry conventions! All sorts of people with varying interests and different levels of tolerance, all having a great time in the same place, respecting the less tolerant needs of the hotel, and we pull this off without fights breaking out! And if someone *does* cross one of the possible, meandering lines, security will have a quick word with them. :)
And we switch gears on our behavior all the time, and it's so automatic, we barely think about it. The way we behave on a bus is different than how we behave in a bedroom. We behave differently when our parents are around. We behave one way with one group of friends, and differently with another group of friends. When we're sitting in a food court vs. in a formal restaurant. When we're sitting in a classroom vs. standing in the hall outside the classroom. When we're in a hotel at a furry convention vs. walking down the street. Evaluating our behavior in the context of where we are at any given time, that's a constant element of life. There are times and places when it's better to express our inner selves than others. Part of the appeal of a fandom is to build more times and places for fans to express themselves more freely. But not all places within the fandom are the best places to express everything and anything, all the time.
Caring is important. The fandom's reputation grew from a combination of people failing to judge (or care about) the right time and place, plus the early days of the Web suddenly removing a lot of barriers before social (in)tolerance got better at dealing with it, plus trolls advertizing our most extreme members.
The more respect we show to others, the more respect we'll receive in return. I will shame anyone I think is acting in a stupid, self-absorbed manner, if the time and place for such behavior isn't appropriate. Furry fandom is at a point where the trolling isn't so bad anymore, other fandoms are cutting us a lot more slack, and expressing one's nerdiness has become an acceptable part of popular culture. It's like we've had a jerk-ass older brother constantly teasing us, but now that we're getting a bit older, he's easing off, seeing what kind of person we're going to grow into. Let's not waste the opportunity. :)